Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day of Recollection

Lectio Divina

Jesus said in reply,
"I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
But the woman came and did him homage, saying, "Lord, help me."

Matthew 15:24-25


Continuing Day, On Pilgrimage, and McKenna, Mary.


Today was our first day of recollection of the year, guided by Saint Bonaventure through Bro. Ignatius Feaver of the Central Canada province. Our computers were turned off the last 24 hours! I am becoming enlightened enough to see this detachment from our machines as a sabbath.

Today was my little cave experience ... three and a half hours in the chapel and many more in my bedroom resting, reading, and reflecting. Coming out of the seclusion, it feels weird talking to people. Small wonder Francis, who went into seclusion at the beginning of his conversion, had only one trusted person waiting for him outside the cave at the end of the day. The way he looked, the look in his eyes, the words coming out of his mouth ... they would have surely astonished, intimidated, and even alarmed all but his closest companions.

A challenging day, looking outward at a creation that is too good for us, looking inward at my impoverished self, and upward at the God who is our riches to sufficiency. I am so far from living voluntary poverty, from living the sacrifical love that judges and saves us. How I want to yearn for love, to fall in love, to be in love. Do I really know what desire is? Do I feel passion? Will I ever feel joy? And if I do, or if I will, then how will I live?

I look forward to the next day of recollection and another opportunity to see my soul fully exposed before God, and to dare, in humility and utter honesty, to look at God's face.

Thanks for your prayers. May God help me to become holier: not holier than thou, but holier than me. May God help the Capuchins, through their good example of voluntary poverty, show the world more boldly who Francis is, who Jesus is, and who their God and ours is....


Overcast in the morning and into the afternoon, clearing up in the evening. Temperatures lukewarm but expected to rise. Swift winds descending.

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