Quick postscript: we have a great little theology library at St. Fidelis Friary. It still operates on the Dewey Decimal System and -- remember this? -- a card catalog. But who cares? Theology books are theology books, and I behold a feast. There is also some biography and fiction.
On my list of intended reading:
Albert Camus, The Plague, trans. Stuart Gilbert (New York: Vintage, 1972)
John Dear, Disarming the Heart: Toward a Vow of Nonviolence (Mahwah, N.J.: Paulist Press, 1987)
Avery Dulles, Models of the Church (New York: Image, 1978)
John F. Kavanaugh, Following Christ in a Consumer Society: The Spirituality of Cultural Resistance (Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis, 1981)
This is just for starters.
Thanks be to God, we have plenty of unstructured personal time, time enough for both physical exercise (there is a treadmill and there are two stationary bikes) and mental exercise. By the end of the interprovincial postulancy, I will be more than in shape for novitiate studies. I'll be ready for graduate-level scholarship again.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
More Orientation
Continuing our orientation, getting to know more about the program and housekeeping.
Been reading our novitiate preparation manual, which spells out the program philosophy, formation goals, program components, and practical matters concerning life in the program. We talk about these things during our morning and evening orientation meetings. Just a few items of note:
1. This is a formation program unto itself. It is not the postlude of our provincial postulancy program just completed, and it is not a prelude to the canonical novitiate. We are neither postulants nor novices, but it is also inaccurate and misleading to call us post-postulants or pre-novices. We are moving into closer affiliation with the international fraternity of Capuchins; in other words, we are entering our first formational experience of living as a brother within the global Capuchin community. Therefore we are now being addressed simply as "brother" or "new brother."
2. Our formation goals in this program are threefold in nature: they are human, they are Catholic/ecclesial, and they are Franciscan. Within each goal we have categorical subgoals concerning knowledge, attitudes, and skills, with objectives for growth in each area.
3. Each brother will be assigned a formation advisor, a friar from the three-person formation team. We will meet individually with our formation advisor regularly, much as we did in our postulancy formation conferences, to talk about how we are doing in the program. Spiritual direction, which is different in nature from formation advisory meetings, will resume in novitiate.
4. Classes are three days a week, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, in the morning. We will reflect as a group on methods of prayer, meditation, and contemplation; liturgical rubrics; Franciscan spirituality; novitiate guidelines; human interaction; and public speaking. From time to time, we will participate in workshops with our formators and with guest speakers on topics such as community living skills; personality profiles (e.g. Myers-Briggs, enneagram); problem solving and conflict transformation; stress management; leadership; identity issues facing ministers as public representatives of the Church; intercultural issues; and sexuality.
5. Fraternal interaction is key to our experience of formation during these two months in Kansas. Every evening is devoted to "scheduled, informal times of fraternal recreation." This is not private time or personal time. We will spend our time together, as a group. Twice a week the brothers will take turns sharing their vocation stories in "fraternal conversations." Once a week the brothers will take turns sharing personal reflections on their experiences of ministry within the program. Once a week the brothers will meet, as in house chapter, to discuss "common problems or concerns evolving within the fraternity or within the program." These evenings will always end with socializing in our community room, just talking, playing games, having snacks, and so forth. On Saturday nights we will have "planned group recreation." The brothers will be given some spending money and use of the common cars and urged to do something together in town or in the neighboring towns. The point is to get the brothers bonding over activities outside of the friary. Staying home is not an option!
6. We are not being formally evaluated at the end of the interprovincial postulancy. We are not auditioning again for novitiate. We have all been accepted into novitiate; we are ready for novitiate. The goal of this program is simply to join together all the brothers who have been accepted to novitiate in a common community and teach us additional skills to enhance our participation in the next phase of formation. So there's really no pressure to "perform," and every incentive just to "be" and live into the experiences awaiting us.
7. For all the time spent in fraternal interaction, there is also ample periods of unstructured time. This is personal time to be devoted quietly to spiritual readings, journaling (or blogging!), private prayer, liturgical preparation, fraternal service (i.e., house chores), manual labor, recreation, and so forth. Personal time is conducive to reflection and service to others. We can come and go as we please from friary during fraternal time without asking permission, but as a courtesy it is good to inform a brother of our whereabouts, and to invite others to join us as appropriate.
Time to wind up this post. Next time I'll elaborate on fraternal service and how we take care of the friary. And maybe I'll say a word about money and the things we hold in common!
Been reading our novitiate preparation manual, which spells out the program philosophy, formation goals, program components, and practical matters concerning life in the program. We talk about these things during our morning and evening orientation meetings. Just a few items of note:
1. This is a formation program unto itself. It is not the postlude of our provincial postulancy program just completed, and it is not a prelude to the canonical novitiate. We are neither postulants nor novices, but it is also inaccurate and misleading to call us post-postulants or pre-novices. We are moving into closer affiliation with the international fraternity of Capuchins; in other words, we are entering our first formational experience of living as a brother within the global Capuchin community. Therefore we are now being addressed simply as "brother" or "new brother."
2. Our formation goals in this program are threefold in nature: they are human, they are Catholic/ecclesial, and they are Franciscan. Within each goal we have categorical subgoals concerning knowledge, attitudes, and skills, with objectives for growth in each area.
3. Each brother will be assigned a formation advisor, a friar from the three-person formation team. We will meet individually with our formation advisor regularly, much as we did in our postulancy formation conferences, to talk about how we are doing in the program. Spiritual direction, which is different in nature from formation advisory meetings, will resume in novitiate.
4. Classes are three days a week, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, in the morning. We will reflect as a group on methods of prayer, meditation, and contemplation; liturgical rubrics; Franciscan spirituality; novitiate guidelines; human interaction; and public speaking. From time to time, we will participate in workshops with our formators and with guest speakers on topics such as community living skills; personality profiles (e.g. Myers-Briggs, enneagram); problem solving and conflict transformation; stress management; leadership; identity issues facing ministers as public representatives of the Church; intercultural issues; and sexuality.
5. Fraternal interaction is key to our experience of formation during these two months in Kansas. Every evening is devoted to "scheduled, informal times of fraternal recreation." This is not private time or personal time. We will spend our time together, as a group. Twice a week the brothers will take turns sharing their vocation stories in "fraternal conversations." Once a week the brothers will take turns sharing personal reflections on their experiences of ministry within the program. Once a week the brothers will meet, as in house chapter, to discuss "common problems or concerns evolving within the fraternity or within the program." These evenings will always end with socializing in our community room, just talking, playing games, having snacks, and so forth. On Saturday nights we will have "planned group recreation." The brothers will be given some spending money and use of the common cars and urged to do something together in town or in the neighboring towns. The point is to get the brothers bonding over activities outside of the friary. Staying home is not an option!
6. We are not being formally evaluated at the end of the interprovincial postulancy. We are not auditioning again for novitiate. We have all been accepted into novitiate; we are ready for novitiate. The goal of this program is simply to join together all the brothers who have been accepted to novitiate in a common community and teach us additional skills to enhance our participation in the next phase of formation. So there's really no pressure to "perform," and every incentive just to "be" and live into the experiences awaiting us.
7. For all the time spent in fraternal interaction, there is also ample periods of unstructured time. This is personal time to be devoted quietly to spiritual readings, journaling (or blogging!), private prayer, liturgical preparation, fraternal service (i.e., house chores), manual labor, recreation, and so forth. Personal time is conducive to reflection and service to others. We can come and go as we please from friary during fraternal time without asking permission, but as a courtesy it is good to inform a brother of our whereabouts, and to invite others to join us as appropriate.
Time to wind up this post. Next time I'll elaborate on fraternal service and how we take care of the friary. And maybe I'll say a word about money and the things we hold in common!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Not in New York Anymore
Extending my computing time some more for a dateline post.
This is Victoria, Kansas, not New York, New York. A few signs of the times and the place we are in now:
Hot, dry, and flat.
The sun goes down after nine o'clock and comes up after six. We're thisclose to the Mountain time zone.
You can walk from one end of this town to the other in an hour.
Nevertheless, nobody walks; everyone drives.
The entire population of Victoria could fit in one city block of New York.
For that matter, the entire population of Victoria could fit in one New York City public housing project.
Everybody knows everybody. Everybody is related to everybody. The names on the tombstones of St. Fidelis Cemetery are the same names on the mailboxes and doorposts.
I kid you not: yesterday, my first day in Kansas, I met a woman named Dorothy.
The business district is a bank, a couple of insurance companies, a funeral parlor, a fuel company, and a construction firm. There's a post office and a city hall. And that's about it.
People do their shopping in Hays, a ten-minute drive to the west. The brothers went on a run for toiletries and other personal necessities. There is a local grocery and pharmacy, but there's really only one retailer, and that's Wal-Mart. Sigh....
Saw a Nobama bumper sticker. Sigh, again....
The Salina Journal is what we read in the morning. No New York Times. No Kansas City Star. Not even USA Today. Triple sigh....
St. Fidelis Church, nicknamed "The Cathedral of the Plains," is one of the Eight Wonders of Kansas, but it would blend in with any of the hundreds of Catholic churches in the five boroughs of New York built with the nickels, dimes, and dollars of immigrant families.
In these parts, it's "pop," not "soda." It's "braut," not "sausage."
Victoria Knights: five-time state champions from 1981 to the present. Next to God and country, high school varsity football.
For Memorial Day, its primary fundraiser for the year, the parish held a German-style wedding luncheon and a barbecue at dinner. It's all beef and all pork, all the time. The green beans are cooked with pork; the vegetable soup is made in a beef broth. Yesterday I asked the men doing the grilling if they had any veggie burgers or at least some turkey burgers. They looked like they never heard of such things. Sigh, once more ... I don't mean to alarm anybody, but I could be a few pounds lighter by the time I get to California.
Brother, I don't think we're in New York anymore!
This is Victoria, Kansas, not New York, New York. A few signs of the times and the place we are in now:
Hot, dry, and flat.
The sun goes down after nine o'clock and comes up after six. We're thisclose to the Mountain time zone.
You can walk from one end of this town to the other in an hour.
Nevertheless, nobody walks; everyone drives.
The entire population of Victoria could fit in one city block of New York.
For that matter, the entire population of Victoria could fit in one New York City public housing project.
Everybody knows everybody. Everybody is related to everybody. The names on the tombstones of St. Fidelis Cemetery are the same names on the mailboxes and doorposts.
I kid you not: yesterday, my first day in Kansas, I met a woman named Dorothy.
The business district is a bank, a couple of insurance companies, a funeral parlor, a fuel company, and a construction firm. There's a post office and a city hall. And that's about it.
People do their shopping in Hays, a ten-minute drive to the west. The brothers went on a run for toiletries and other personal necessities. There is a local grocery and pharmacy, but there's really only one retailer, and that's Wal-Mart. Sigh....
Saw a Nobama bumper sticker. Sigh, again....
The Salina Journal is what we read in the morning. No New York Times. No Kansas City Star. Not even USA Today. Triple sigh....
St. Fidelis Church, nicknamed "The Cathedral of the Plains," is one of the Eight Wonders of Kansas, but it would blend in with any of the hundreds of Catholic churches in the five boroughs of New York built with the nickels, dimes, and dollars of immigrant families.
In these parts, it's "pop," not "soda." It's "braut," not "sausage."
Victoria Knights: five-time state champions from 1981 to the present. Next to God and country, high school varsity football.
For Memorial Day, its primary fundraiser for the year, the parish held a German-style wedding luncheon and a barbecue at dinner. It's all beef and all pork, all the time. The green beans are cooked with pork; the vegetable soup is made in a beef broth. Yesterday I asked the men doing the grilling if they had any veggie burgers or at least some turkey burgers. They looked like they never heard of such things. Sigh, once more ... I don't mean to alarm anybody, but I could be a few pounds lighter by the time I get to California.
Brother, I don't think we're in New York anymore!
Program
Trying to budget my time on the computer. Practicing frugality while using the Internet is hard! My aim is to bring my usage down to 20 minutes a day, for starters. Then, 15 minutes a day. Then, to cut out computing entirely for one day a week, a sabbath from cyberspace. This will prepare me for the austerity of novitiate.
Our proper orientation to the interprovincial postulancy program began today.
We have been on a special schedule since arrival because of Memorial Day and orientation. We will move into our regular horarium soon enough. Today's schedule at St. Fidelis Friary:
7:00 Meditation
7:15 Morning Prayer
7:30 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Orientation
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
Free Afternoon
5:15 Meditation
5:30 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:30 Night Prayer
7:45 Orientation
When postulancy began last summer, we met for common prayer twice a day, in the morning and the evening, plus Eucharist. By Advent we introduced a third hour of common prayer, compline, or night prayer. Now we are one step to closer to novitiate, and we have added a fourth hour, midday prayer. The addition is logical and feels natural: prayers before every meal. There is a lot more besides, but when it comes down to it, pray and eat, pray and eat: that's what friars do! Or, to put it more sacramentally: give thanks and be nourished.
Previously I alluded to the practical reasons the Capuchins of North America do the novitiate program collectively: conservation of material resources and development of a common culture. Today we have been given a philosophical foundation for interprovincial postulancy. Day One of novitiate is too late to begin forming fraternity among the novice brothers. It is better to integrate the community of novices while the brothers are still postulants. Continuing the work of human development within a fraternity larger than St. Michael Friary dovetails with my own efforts to accept a conversion of my interpersonal relationships toward Christ. For love of Christ Jesus, the image of the invisible God, I welcome the challenge to change and keep being transformed after the example of Francis of Assisi. May this program, a mere fifty days on the lifelong road of religious life, bring me closer to God, closer to my neighbors, closer to my brothers, and closer to the brother I am to be.
PS -- This post took more than thirty minutes to draft! Too long. The mind is racing around my head, desperate to pick up every iota of information, eager to tell you all. I must slow down and let go. More I could write to you, but suffice it to say I will remember you, friendly readers, with loving thoughts. What I cannot show you in words I will speak with charity to my brothers. And I trust you to begin imagining this religious life, in spite of the parsimony of pictures.
Our proper orientation to the interprovincial postulancy program began today.
We have been on a special schedule since arrival because of Memorial Day and orientation. We will move into our regular horarium soon enough. Today's schedule at St. Fidelis Friary:
7:00 Meditation
7:15 Morning Prayer
7:30 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Orientation
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
Free Afternoon
5:15 Meditation
5:30 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:30 Night Prayer
7:45 Orientation
When postulancy began last summer, we met for common prayer twice a day, in the morning and the evening, plus Eucharist. By Advent we introduced a third hour of common prayer, compline, or night prayer. Now we are one step to closer to novitiate, and we have added a fourth hour, midday prayer. The addition is logical and feels natural: prayers before every meal. There is a lot more besides, but when it comes down to it, pray and eat, pray and eat: that's what friars do! Or, to put it more sacramentally: give thanks and be nourished.
Previously I alluded to the practical reasons the Capuchins of North America do the novitiate program collectively: conservation of material resources and development of a common culture. Today we have been given a philosophical foundation for interprovincial postulancy. Day One of novitiate is too late to begin forming fraternity among the novice brothers. It is better to integrate the community of novices while the brothers are still postulants. Continuing the work of human development within a fraternity larger than St. Michael Friary dovetails with my own efforts to accept a conversion of my interpersonal relationships toward Christ. For love of Christ Jesus, the image of the invisible God, I welcome the challenge to change and keep being transformed after the example of Francis of Assisi. May this program, a mere fifty days on the lifelong road of religious life, bring me closer to God, closer to my neighbors, closer to my brothers, and closer to the brother I am to be.
PS -- This post took more than thirty minutes to draft! Too long. The mind is racing around my head, desperate to pick up every iota of information, eager to tell you all. I must slow down and let go. More I could write to you, but suffice it to say I will remember you, friendly readers, with loving thoughts. What I cannot show you in words I will speak with charity to my brothers. And I trust you to begin imagining this religious life, in spite of the parsimony of pictures.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Carry On, My Wayward Son
I am in Kansas. Arrived at quarter to ten local time last night after travelling the most miles I had ever crossed in one day. Three flights: New York to Milwaukee to Denver to Hays, Kansas, the final flight a bit frightening as we passed through shearing winds and tall, thick thunderclouds. Would that we could have avoided such interesting weather! Nevertheless, we pray, "Lightnings and clouds, bless the Lord."
Long travel takes everything out of me. By the third and final touchdown, I was ready to sleep standing up. Even now, feeling lightheaded and less than coherent -- my body has traveled so far, so fast ... the spirit is still catching up. As I expected, I have a sore throat after sitting for hours breathing stale cockpit air. This, too, shall pass, except I worry about losing my voice. I know I'll need to meet and greet a lot of people today, and not only my brothers. The novices-to-be are going to be introduced to the whole town, basically, at a Memorial Day Mass this morning. (Population of Victoria, Kansas: approx. 1,000).
Had a look at the friars' chapel this morning: simple, clean, naturally bright, and beautiful. Spent a half hour in meditation and morning prayer. Picked up breakfast and a newspaper, The Salina Times, as brothers came and went.
This doesn't feel real yet. When my spirit arrives, then it will. I know that it will; the Spirit carries me with her.
Now, to let my folks know I am here safely and gently arriving into my new surroundings. Spirit of Christ, call me here; plant me firmly on this ground; make me really present to you and to my brothers.
Long travel takes everything out of me. By the third and final touchdown, I was ready to sleep standing up. Even now, feeling lightheaded and less than coherent -- my body has traveled so far, so fast ... the spirit is still catching up. As I expected, I have a sore throat after sitting for hours breathing stale cockpit air. This, too, shall pass, except I worry about losing my voice. I know I'll need to meet and greet a lot of people today, and not only my brothers. The novices-to-be are going to be introduced to the whole town, basically, at a Memorial Day Mass this morning. (Population of Victoria, Kansas: approx. 1,000).
Had a look at the friars' chapel this morning: simple, clean, naturally bright, and beautiful. Spent a half hour in meditation and morning prayer. Picked up breakfast and a newspaper, The Salina Times, as brothers came and went.
This doesn't feel real yet. When my spirit arrives, then it will. I know that it will; the Spirit carries me with her.
Now, to let my folks know I am here safely and gently arriving into my new surroundings. Spirit of Christ, call me here; plant me firmly on this ground; make me really present to you and to my brothers.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Flight Fright
The weather forecast in western Kansas for Sunday evening does not look very promising. There is a good chance of severe thunderstorms in Hays at 10 p.m, when our flight is scheduled to arrive. In fact, there is a chance of thunderstorms most of the day, from three in the afternoon until midnight and later. Not the news I was hoping to get.
Honestly, I would not mind being delayed for hours in Denver, stranded even, all night, if that was necessary to ensure a safe flight to Kansas.
Pray for all the Capuchin novices-to-be who are flying tomorrow, that they may reach their destination safely, with or without inconvenience. I will be in transit all day Sunday, but I promise to post to confirm my arrival as soon as I am able.
Peace be with you, friends, and to my brothers and sisters in the Spirit of Christ, I bid you a joyous Pentecost.
Honestly, I would not mind being delayed for hours in Denver, stranded even, all night, if that was necessary to ensure a safe flight to Kansas.
Pray for all the Capuchin novices-to-be who are flying tomorrow, that they may reach their destination safely, with or without inconvenience. I will be in transit all day Sunday, but I promise to post to confirm my arrival as soon as I am able.
Peace be with you, friends, and to my brothers and sisters in the Spirit of Christ, I bid you a joyous Pentecost.
Into the Night, Into the Air
Lord of the water, Lord of the air,
God of light,
Be my defender through the night;
speed me safely toward daylight.
It is night.
I must go into the night
over the thundering air
to reach the dawn.
The light is good.
The light is life.
But life rises in the darkness.
The Spirit is our friend
when we are in the darkness
and we are separated
from everything that is light
and love.
With you, Spirit of love,
I am never truly separated
from the light.
I am only parted from the day
for a while.
Where I am going,
no one can follow me,
no one but my brothers,
no one but my sisters.
Brothers, will you be there?
Sisters, will you be there?
Will you follow?
Are you going into the night
and into the air?
Will you be there
when I return?
Will I begin, and will I be alive to beginning?
Let me live long enough
to make the journey into the night.
Grant me an eternal year, O God,
and an hour stolen from death.
Make the storms of destruction pass by
but leave me undisturbed
untouched
unbowed
prepared to part from day
for the good night to come.
Good night, dark night.
The darkness will be as day
as I fly through the billowing blowing air.
As I sing, so I pray.
Holy Spirit, come.
Holy God, come.
Your child stands apart.
Holy Spirit, come.
God of light,
Be my defender through the night;
speed me safely toward daylight.
It is night.
I must go into the night
over the thundering air
to reach the dawn.
The light is good.
The light is life.
But life rises in the darkness.
The Spirit is our friend
when we are in the darkness
and we are separated
from everything that is light
and love.
With you, Spirit of love,
I am never truly separated
from the light.
I am only parted from the day
for a while.
Where I am going,
no one can follow me,
no one but my brothers,
no one but my sisters.
Brothers, will you be there?
Sisters, will you be there?
Will you follow?
Are you going into the night
and into the air?
Will you be there
when I return?
Will I begin, and will I be alive to beginning?
Let me live long enough
to make the journey into the night.
Grant me an eternal year, O God,
and an hour stolen from death.
Make the storms of destruction pass by
but leave me undisturbed
untouched
unbowed
prepared to part from day
for the good night to come.
Good night, dark night.
The darkness will be as day
as I fly through the billowing blowing air.
As I sing, so I pray.
Holy Spirit, come.
Holy God, come.
Your child stands apart.
Holy Spirit, come.
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