Oración

“ ‘But I told you that although you have seen me, you do not believe’ ” (John 6:36).

Dear God, 

You are the God who sees. You are the God who knows. Everything comes from you, and nothing that was made could exist without you. You are the God of history. You are the God of eternity. You are spirit, you are the Word made flesh, you are love. 

Because of this, you are the God who shows. You are the God whose wisdom gives light. You made me. I could not exist without you. You put me into history. You draw me slowly, mysteriously, back to eternity. You have given me your spirit. You have showed me Jesus. You have showed me love.

You have showed me so much. I have been saturated by your beauty, love, power, and truth. And although I thought I knew what you wanted, now I do not know anything. I am thrown into ignorance and confusion. Did I ever know anything? 

Who am I, dear God, and who are you? 

What are you doing? What are you up to? 

What do you want of me? Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? 

I understand only a little; I understand less than yesterday. I love only a little; I love less than yesterday. 

You did this, dear God; I do not know what you have done. 

I ask you—I demand of you—not to judge those who saw Jesus and did not believe. They, too, were thrown into ignorance and confusion. They did not know what you wanted. They did not understand what they were receiving. Repent, and believe in the Gospel. What does that mean? They did not know it was time for a change. If they did, still they did not know what to change or how to change. They did not know how to be changed. 

I do not know what is changing. I do not know how you are changing things. Is it any wonder I do not know how to trust you? Is it any wonder they did not know how to trust Jesus? 

Jesus, I trust in you, even though everything else is uncertain. Dear God, through Jesus I ask you to help me trust, to help me to believe, even though the signs are unclear and the road is rough. 

Forgive me, dear God, for not being satisfied with you. You are the God of creation and resurrection. You sent Jesus. How could I not be satisfied? Nevertheless, I want more. I want your life in me. I want your love in me. I want to decrease and I want you to increase in me. Is this not what it means to give myself to you and be the person you want me to be? Then be clear. Be decisive. Don’t just show me signs. Live in me. Love in me. 

Hear my prayer for the sake of your beloved Son. May the Holy Spirit carry this prayer to you at this very hour. May my prayer be true and may it change me. Amen.