In most Catholic churches in the United States you will find in the pews those paperback books known as missalettes. These are seasonal, abbreviated forms of the Roman Missal, which orders the celebration of the Eucharist all the year round. With the missalette you can follow the entire Mass. Thus the missalettes contain the Scripture readings for Sundays and solemn feasts, all the prayers proper to the liturgical season, as well as all the congregational responses to the Liturgy of the Word and Liturgy of the Eucharist. They also come with an appendix of hymns appropriate for the season.
In the Catholic churches of Bolivia you will find, instead of a missalette, a sheet just for that Sunday or other solemnity (e.g., Christmas). In addition to providing the order of worship, it also offers reflections on the Scripture or other sharings of Catholic spirituality relevant to the themes of worship that Sunday.
Here is a parable that I found on the back of this Sunday’s worship aid. This is my rough translation.
God Is Speaking to You
A man whispered: “God, speak to me.” And a nightingale began to sing, but the man did not hear. So the man repeated: “God, speak to me.” And the echo of thunder could be heard. But the man was incapable of hearing.
The man looked around and said: “God, let me see you.” A star shined in the sky. But the man did not see it.
The man began to shout: “God, show me a miracle.” A child was born. But the man did not feel the beat of life.
So the man began to cry and despair: “God, touch me and let me know that you are here with me….”
And a butterfly perched softly on his shoulder. The man shooed the butterfly with his hand and, disillusioned, continued on his way, sad, lonely, and afraid.
How long must we suffer before we understand that God is always where life is?
How long will we keep our eyes and our hearts closed to the miracles that life shows us daily in every moment?
I find this parable, and the reading in the Gospel of John, really challenging today. I selected this Gospel passage where Jesus asks Peter “Do you love me more than these?” to be read at my profession of perpetual vows on Oct. 1, 2016. God shows us so much love through the beauty of life and the wonders of creation. God shows us so much love through the words and works of Jesus. When I examine my conscience and my consciousness, sometimes I cringe when I come to the question Jesus asks, the question God asks through Jesus: “Do you love me?” When I consider how much has been presented to me; when I consider how much I have received; when I consider how much I have taken; and when I consider how much I have given in response, given in return—I flinch, I run away, I hide. Because in honesty all I can say is “I don’t know” or “No, I do not.” I try, but I fail. Or I do not try. My love is so small; it is so exclusive; it wants what it wants; it controls.
“Do you love me more than these?” This is a hard question. And it makes me feel bad to say No and admit defeat. It makes me feel ugly to say I do not love God, I do not love Jesus more than my greed, more than my envy, more than my anger, more than my desire, or more than my laziness. It makes me feel traitorous to say I do not want God’s love if accepting it means I can’t have what I want. It makes me want to hide away and wait until God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit leave me alone and go away for good.
But you can’t go on if defeat is the place where you stay. You can’t go on if depression or despair is your final stop in the struggle of discipleship.
What is more, God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit won’t leave you alone.
So maybe admit defeat for a day; feel sad, alone, and afraid for a while. Then get up and try again the next day. Jesus will still be there on the shore, waiting with the fish and the bread to break the fast of resignation with you; waiting for you to surrender your frustration; waiting for you to hear the nightingale, hear the thunder, see the star, delight in the child, give perch to the butterfly. Waiting for you to see again, to know again, to love again. Waiting for you, giving you another chance to say the Yes that will free you, the Yes that cannot be negated.
No comments:
Post a Comment