The not-so-good news: I still do not understand much about this life, this world, and especially this language and culture in which I am immersed.
We are getting deeper now into the immersion, deeper into study. Today was the first day of the new term at Maryknoll. I have new teachers, Profesoras Viviana and Sara. I was moving along all right in the first two hours, then slam—I hit the wall in the third and fourth hours with Profesora Sara. I couldn’t form sentences on the spot. I couldn’t formulate questions. I had to think long and hard before answering questions. Errors cropped up like weeds in my speech. And I could not understand Profesora Sara. We’re moving a little faster now, I see. We were going just past the point of comfort, and I did not like it. Honestly, by the fourth hour I wanted to slam my textbook in frustration. You’re pushing me too hard! You’re finding all the weaknesses! Ease up! Slow down!
And I was fully rested, having slept well the third night in a row. I had all the energy I needed. I was not tired. What happened?
I’ll tell you what I think. We’re moving into new frontiers. We’re beginning to push the limits of endurance. I lived in Central America for six weeks only, in June and July 2014. I studied Spanish for two months at a language school in Boston in the middle of 2015. We’re keeping on for another four and a half months here in Bolivia. How long can you stay underwater, deep down at the bottom? Sometimes you can feel the pressure. And with the accumulation of time and experience, the bar is getting higher. Am I the one raising the bar? Not entirely; I think others, especially my instructors at Maryknoll, are doing the raising, too. Profesora Sara was probing, asking so many questions. Are you practicing conversation outside the classroom? Are you practicing with the friars outside of prayers and meals and structured social time? Have you visited many different places in Cochabamba? How much do you sleep? I almost felt intruded on, honestly. But this is the teachers’ job, and I have to examine my consciousness. How much of a challenge can you take? Is this not the adventure you chose?
Today, it occurs to me that reaching the top of Tunari Peak was easy. The real challenge is still before me. There is a much higher mountain to scale. This mountain is the Spanish language itself. (Fray Bladimir joked, This is your Mount Calvary.) It’s the ultimate peak, because I can never reach the top, and the higher I get, the more distant the peak seems to be. But, let us not despair! The love I feel, the passion I feel, resists despair. What is more: Tomorrow is another day. Today is another day. And God is with us. There are many more opportunities coming to rise and fall and rise again. In other words: expect to read more of the same, dear readers. Promise me you won’t get weary of reading about these cycles of exhilaration and frustration, and I promise to make the story interesting.
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