Dear God,
Your Spirit is the helper. Your Spirit comes to our aid. Your Spirit gives us the words to speak at the hour when we need them.
Well, the words are hard to come by, and the prayers do not come often.
Your servant is angry and anxious. You know why. He does not have the gift of other tongues. Ears are closed; the mind is closed; lips are shut. The learning is not happening. There is no enlightenment. This journey is faltering. The time is slowing to the tempo of purgatory. What can be done?
It is up to you, dear God, to decide what to do. Judge for yourself what to make of your deaf and dumb servant.
Wherever your Spirit is, it does not feel at home within your poor servant. Maybe the Spirit has been evicted. If this has been done, then please forgive this sin, grave as it is.
You can bring into being what is not. You take what is and you make more of it. You can make anyone live. You can make anyone be whatever you want of them. This power is yours. This power has always been yours alone.
You can take the Spirit away, and you can bring the Spirit back. For the Spirit is your presence among us and within us.
From eternity to eternity, you are. We are, insofar as we remain in you.
Once again, in repentance for another fallen day, your servant asks you to make him live in you. Put out the anger; calm the anxiety. Redeem what can be redeemed, and put out of existence the wrong that cannot be changed.
Therefore, search, search, search the heart of the one who begs you now. If his intentions are true, then sound your Yes and make the Spirit speak for him. If his intentions are false, then sound your No and make the Spirit reprove him. Spare him in your mercy. In spite of every betrayal, send him your love, and make him strong enough to survive it.
All this and more, everything that has been left unsaid, grant in the name of the Son through the Spirit. Amen.
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