Log
This morning: orientation presentations from the formators. More basics to know about novice life.
This afternoon: house jobs. My primary job is the newsletter for the Capuchin novitiate. Took a couple of hours examining last year's issues of The Caperone. Also fixing up the workshop area, including the recycling bins. And a quick video call to my mother and brother.
Tomorrow: a trip to the beach with the fraternity. More on this later....
Lectio Divina
We recognize, O LORD, our wickedness,
the guilt of our fathers;
that we have sinned against you.
Jeremiah 14:20
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
From Postulancy to Novitiate
At the beginning of this blog I published a reflection on the transition from candidacy to postulancy, which also appeared on the website for the Province of St. Mary of the Capuchins. Recently, the province's vocation office asked me to write another reflection, this time on the transition from postulancy to novitiate. The final version of that reflection will appear on the Capuchin website, as the earlier reflection. I post a draft version of that reflection here for your benefit.
From Postulancy to Novitiate: Remaining in the New
Postulancy in Brooklyn ended three months ago. It feels like three years ago. Since the Interprovincial Postulancy Program in Victoria, Kansas, Johnny, Linneker, Will, and I have been fully absorbed in the present moment within a nexus of novelties -- a new home, 20 new brothers, new formators, new schedules, new rules, new prayers, new ministries. Just when we got to know Kansas, and each other, we all got up and moved to California. Thus God, working through the Capuchin family, has made all things new again.
At the time of this writing I have been a Capuchin novice for five days. It was 12 years, 1 month, and 16 days ago that I was confirmed and completed my initiation into the Catholic Church. I have been in this world for 34 years and 10 months. An old soul? Maybe. A newborn saint and prophet, certainly. As Francis said to his brothers on his deathbed, "Let us begin, brothers, to serve the Lord God, for up to now we have made little or no progress."
As Capuchin friars in formation, as disciples of Jesus, we begin again, constantly. This is as it ought to be for a people who believe in a God who makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). My goal in novitiate is to remain in the new. No conversion is real if it is not renewed daily. No penance is accomplished once for all time; it is taken up in every moment. To encounter the living God is always to meet God for the first time. To meet Jesus is to be constantly surprised by his face, and startled by his voice. To feel the Holy Spirit in your soul is like the delight of hearing something in you favorite song that you never heard before, even though you listened to it a thousand times before now.
This is what it feels like to be a follower in Francis' footsteps at this moment. I am hearing God's song for me with fresh ears. For another beginning, I feel only gratitude.
And novitiate has begun very well. The evening I arrived at San Lorenzo Friary, I could feel my soul relax and expand. From the moment I crossed the threshold into my dormitory, I knew something was different. The first night I slept in my new room, I slept as soundly as if I had been in that place for fifteen years.
Each day is tightly organized, but each day feels free. The pace of life is insistent but unhurried. Within our routine we are discovering the space where God dwells. Within our schedule we are finding the time beyond time and beginning to notice how God erupts into time.
I aim to live every day of novitiate like it was the first day. I want to give and, if it please God, receive the joy I felt when my brothers and I donned the habit of probation at investiture. I want to give, as I have received, that peace of soul which comes from a life centered in the God of Jesus Christ and lived like Christ's, a peace that Francis knew intimately.
And when this year is completed, I hope to go, go and speak the Word I have heard afresh; go, and serve, from worship into service, from contemplation into action; go, to and among the people who bear the marks of Jesus today -- immigrants, prisoners, and workers, and especially women and people of color; go, in the love of the One who became human, who so loves us that, even if humanity had not sinned, would still come to us.
In this love I will go, always as if for the first time.
From Postulancy to Novitiate: Remaining in the New
Postulancy in Brooklyn ended three months ago. It feels like three years ago. Since the Interprovincial Postulancy Program in Victoria, Kansas, Johnny, Linneker, Will, and I have been fully absorbed in the present moment within a nexus of novelties -- a new home, 20 new brothers, new formators, new schedules, new rules, new prayers, new ministries. Just when we got to know Kansas, and each other, we all got up and moved to California. Thus God, working through the Capuchin family, has made all things new again.
At the time of this writing I have been a Capuchin novice for five days. It was 12 years, 1 month, and 16 days ago that I was confirmed and completed my initiation into the Catholic Church. I have been in this world for 34 years and 10 months. An old soul? Maybe. A newborn saint and prophet, certainly. As Francis said to his brothers on his deathbed, "Let us begin, brothers, to serve the Lord God, for up to now we have made little or no progress."
As Capuchin friars in formation, as disciples of Jesus, we begin again, constantly. This is as it ought to be for a people who believe in a God who makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). My goal in novitiate is to remain in the new. No conversion is real if it is not renewed daily. No penance is accomplished once for all time; it is taken up in every moment. To encounter the living God is always to meet God for the first time. To meet Jesus is to be constantly surprised by his face, and startled by his voice. To feel the Holy Spirit in your soul is like the delight of hearing something in you favorite song that you never heard before, even though you listened to it a thousand times before now.
This is what it feels like to be a follower in Francis' footsteps at this moment. I am hearing God's song for me with fresh ears. For another beginning, I feel only gratitude.
And novitiate has begun very well. The evening I arrived at San Lorenzo Friary, I could feel my soul relax and expand. From the moment I crossed the threshold into my dormitory, I knew something was different. The first night I slept in my new room, I slept as soundly as if I had been in that place for fifteen years.
Each day is tightly organized, but each day feels free. The pace of life is insistent but unhurried. Within our routine we are discovering the space where God dwells. Within our schedule we are finding the time beyond time and beginning to notice how God erupts into time.
I aim to live every day of novitiate like it was the first day. I want to give and, if it please God, receive the joy I felt when my brothers and I donned the habit of probation at investiture. I want to give, as I have received, that peace of soul which comes from a life centered in the God of Jesus Christ and lived like Christ's, a peace that Francis knew intimately.
And when this year is completed, I hope to go, go and speak the Word I have heard afresh; go, and serve, from worship into service, from contemplation into action; go, to and among the people who bear the marks of Jesus today -- immigrants, prisoners, and workers, and especially women and people of color; go, in the love of the One who became human, who so loves us that, even if humanity had not sinned, would still come to us.
In this love I will go, always as if for the first time.
Usual Weekly Schedule
From the novice manual. For those who would like a glimpse into the typical daily and weekly routine of a Capuchin novice. Note well the blocks of personal time, for these would be the best periods for telephone calls and personal calls!
All times Pacific.
Sunday
8:00 Morning Prayer
9:00 Eucharist at San Lorenzo Friary or Local Parishes
Personal Time Until Evening Prayer
4:30 Evening Prayer and Eucharistic Adoration
5:30 Fraternal Gathering
6:15 Dinner
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Communal Recreation
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Class
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Work Projects (Monday)
House Jobs (Tuesday)
Hermitage Time (Wednesday, Until 5:00)
3:00 Personal Time (Except Wed.)
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence and Study (Choral Practice on Mon.; Personal Time on Wed.)
8:45 Night Prayer (In Private on Wed.)
9:00 Communal Recreation
Thursday
8:00 Eucharist With Morning Prayer
9:00 Personal Time
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Personal Time
Friday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:00 Ministry
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Faith Sharing
9:00 Communal Recreation
Saturday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
9:00 Work Projects
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 House Jobs
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Personal Time
Night Prayer in Private
***
Log
This morning: Journey to Santa Barbara. Brief stops at a monastery of Poor Clares, where we met a community of about a dozen Franciscan nuns living in strict enclosure; the Old Mission Santa Barbara, which among Franciscan missions is the oldest to be continuously operated by them in the United States; and St. Mark's University Parish at the University of California-Santa Barbara, one of the ministry sites for the Capuchin novices. We had lunch with the chaplains and student ministers.
This afternoon: reading and rest.
This evening: choral practice!
***
Lectio Divina
Sunday: When they gave it to the people, there was plenty for all and some left over, just as the Lord had promised.
2 Kings 4:44 (New Living Translation)
Monday: Now I will rouse their jealousy through people who are not even a people;
I will provoke their anger through the foolish Gentiles.
Deuteronomy 32:21 (New Living Translation)
All times Pacific.
Sunday
8:00 Morning Prayer
9:00 Eucharist at San Lorenzo Friary or Local Parishes
Personal Time Until Evening Prayer
4:30 Evening Prayer and Eucharistic Adoration
5:30 Fraternal Gathering
6:15 Dinner
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Communal Recreation
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Class
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Work Projects (Monday)
House Jobs (Tuesday)
Hermitage Time (Wednesday, Until 5:00)
3:00 Personal Time (Except Wed.)
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence and Study (Choral Practice on Mon.; Personal Time on Wed.)
8:45 Night Prayer (In Private on Wed.)
9:00 Communal Recreation
Thursday
8:00 Eucharist With Morning Prayer
9:00 Personal Time
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Personal Time
Friday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:00 Ministry
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Faith Sharing
9:00 Communal Recreation
Saturday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
9:00 Work Projects
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 House Jobs
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Personal Time
Night Prayer in Private
***
Log
This morning: Journey to Santa Barbara. Brief stops at a monastery of Poor Clares, where we met a community of about a dozen Franciscan nuns living in strict enclosure; the Old Mission Santa Barbara, which among Franciscan missions is the oldest to be continuously operated by them in the United States; and St. Mark's University Parish at the University of California-Santa Barbara, one of the ministry sites for the Capuchin novices. We had lunch with the chaplains and student ministers.
This afternoon: reading and rest.
This evening: choral practice!
***
Lectio Divina
Sunday: When they gave it to the people, there was plenty for all and some left over, just as the Lord had promised.
2 Kings 4:44 (New Living Translation)
Monday: Now I will rouse their jealousy through people who are not even a people;
I will provoke their anger through the foolish Gentiles.
Deuteronomy 32:21 (New Living Translation)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
John 15:9
A wedding song. For S. and M.
We are marching in the light of a lesser god
The way and truth and life we live are odd
We always knew the levee wall would break
When the flood comes down next time, it won't be God's own make
All our stricken soldiers tear the veil
While orphaned mothers plant their boots and wail
The city and the desert will not pass
Until every blade of steel turns to a blade of grass
We have rounded every corner of the earth
Crossed the border linking death and birth
We have found an answer for our pain
Should all the world burn out, we shall remain
You and me, we're done with brand new starts
Let's surrender to domestic arts
War is in the cupboard that is bare
Peace is every sip from the cup we share
Come fill our kingly chapel for a spell
Who emptied tomb and upper room as well
The two of us await you to proclaim
In other words from one without a name
"Nothing means a thing until I do
I spoke of you before you even knew
Will you believe the world, or what I say?
Oh, hang on every word, or hang on anyway."
Melody: "Abandoned Love," Bob Dylan
We are marching in the light of a lesser god
The way and truth and life we live are odd
We always knew the levee wall would break
When the flood comes down next time, it won't be God's own make
All our stricken soldiers tear the veil
While orphaned mothers plant their boots and wail
The city and the desert will not pass
Until every blade of steel turns to a blade of grass
We have rounded every corner of the earth
Crossed the border linking death and birth
We have found an answer for our pain
Should all the world burn out, we shall remain
You and me, we're done with brand new starts
Let's surrender to domestic arts
War is in the cupboard that is bare
Peace is every sip from the cup we share
Come fill our kingly chapel for a spell
Who emptied tomb and upper room as well
The two of us await you to proclaim
In other words from one without a name
"Nothing means a thing until I do
I spoke of you before you even knew
Will you believe the world, or what I say?
Oh, hang on every word, or hang on anyway."
Melody: "Abandoned Love," Bob Dylan
Good Housekeeping
Log
Last night: received house jobs. I am splitting my time between manual and mental labor. Manual: sweeping the walkways, straightening up the exercise room, and keeping in order the workshop, where we keep hand tools and power tools. Mental: I will be putting together The Caperone, the monthly newsletter of the Capuchin novitiate. You can call me a managing editor if you like (I do), but I will be reporting to one of the formators, who is the executive editor, editorial director, editor-in-chief (what you will).
This morning: Got to work on the manual labor, sweeping the walkways and tidying the exercise room and workshop. I will receive direction on The Caperone in a few days.
This afternoon: baking and cooking ... for about 45 hungry persons! In addition to the 24 novices, the formators, and senior friars in residence, we had several last-minute guests, friars and friends of friars. This is extremely uncommon, especially at the beginning of novitiate. Oh well ... we rolled with it, and we flourished under pressure. My kitchen partner took the lead preparing chicken curry, Indian rice with raisins and walnuts, roasted vegetables, and salad and yogurt. I assisted him, and another novice brother graciously helped out even though he was not on kitchen detail. I took lead on desserts: four summer fruit buckle cakes (two apricot, one blueberry, one raspberry). We had plenty of food, and by all accounts all were happy with the meal.
I am feeling a little spacey after five hours in the kitchen, but I feel good about what my brothers and I were able to do. As the first to take our turn cooking for the novitiate, we acquitted ourselves well, with grace and good cheer.
One week into our new program at our new home, I can say in good conscience that I am working honorably to keep our house in good order.
***
Lectio Divina
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you will never suffer because the Temple is here. It’s a lie!
Jeremiah 7:8 (New Living Translation)
Going forward, unless otherwise specified (as today), all Scripture citations will be from the New American Bible Revised Edition.
Last night: received house jobs. I am splitting my time between manual and mental labor. Manual: sweeping the walkways, straightening up the exercise room, and keeping in order the workshop, where we keep hand tools and power tools. Mental: I will be putting together The Caperone, the monthly newsletter of the Capuchin novitiate. You can call me a managing editor if you like (I do), but I will be reporting to one of the formators, who is the executive editor, editorial director, editor-in-chief (what you will).
This morning: Got to work on the manual labor, sweeping the walkways and tidying the exercise room and workshop. I will receive direction on The Caperone in a few days.
This afternoon: baking and cooking ... for about 45 hungry persons! In addition to the 24 novices, the formators, and senior friars in residence, we had several last-minute guests, friars and friends of friars. This is extremely uncommon, especially at the beginning of novitiate. Oh well ... we rolled with it, and we flourished under pressure. My kitchen partner took the lead preparing chicken curry, Indian rice with raisins and walnuts, roasted vegetables, and salad and yogurt. I assisted him, and another novice brother graciously helped out even though he was not on kitchen detail. I took lead on desserts: four summer fruit buckle cakes (two apricot, one blueberry, one raspberry). We had plenty of food, and by all accounts all were happy with the meal.
I am feeling a little spacey after five hours in the kitchen, but I feel good about what my brothers and I were able to do. As the first to take our turn cooking for the novitiate, we acquitted ourselves well, with grace and good cheer.
One week into our new program at our new home, I can say in good conscience that I am working honorably to keep our house in good order.
***
Lectio Divina
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you will never suffer because the Temple is here. It’s a lie!
Jeremiah 7:8 (New Living Translation)
Going forward, unless otherwise specified (as today), all Scripture citations will be from the New American Bible Revised Edition.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Dreams and Hopes and More
Dreams
I dream of seeing the reign of God in person -- in the person of Jesus Christ, within me and my brothers and sisters. During novitiate, I pray for an increase in desire to perceive the Christ-like presence of the kingdom of heaven in the persons of my novice brothers.
Hopes
This novitiate year, I hope to walk like a disciple of Jesus and to speak in God's name: a little more truly, a little more deeply, and even a little more madly -- and to recognize it when my novice brothers are doing so.
Goals
I aim during novitiate to see and hear in my novice brothers living parables of the kingdom of heaven. I aim to show in my words and deeds good hospitality in the household of God and practice good citizenship in the city of God. Let Francis of Assisi, the model steward and citizen of the world to come, be my example.
Expectations
I wish not to comment on what I expect of my novice brothers. I would not (and need not) add to what their God and mine requires of them and me -- to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God.
Impressions
Hopes
This novitiate year, I hope to walk like a disciple of Jesus and to speak in God's name: a little more truly, a little more deeply, and even a little more madly -- and to recognize it when my novice brothers are doing so.
Goals
I aim during novitiate to see and hear in my novice brothers living parables of the kingdom of heaven. I aim to show in my words and deeds good hospitality in the household of God and practice good citizenship in the city of God. Let Francis of Assisi, the model steward and citizen of the world to come, be my example.
Expectations
I wish not to comment on what I expect of my novice brothers. I would not (and need not) add to what their God and mine requires of them and me -- to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God.
Impressions
The evening I arrived at San Lorenzo Friary, I could feel my soul relax and expand. From the moment I crossed the threshold into my dormitory, I knew something was different. The first night I slept in my new room, I slept as soundly as if I had been in that place for fifteen years.
Novitiate has begun very well. Each day is tightly organized, but each day feels free. The pace of life is insistent but unhurried. Within our routine we are discovering the space where God dwells. Within our schedule we are finding the time beyond time and beginning to notice how God erupts into time.
We drove for four days through the desert, across mountains and hills and plains, to be here in this holy place. We are done traveling. We will be stable. We will be still. But we are moving, moving with direction, moving in the light of God, moving with our brothers. We are going, going forward, going to the New Jerusalem, to the Assisi in our hearts, to the cave in our souls, to meet God, to meet Jesus, to meet Francis as ourselves.
Novitiate has begun very well. Each day is tightly organized, but each day feels free. The pace of life is insistent but unhurried. Within our routine we are discovering the space where God dwells. Within our schedule we are finding the time beyond time and beginning to notice how God erupts into time.
We drove for four days through the desert, across mountains and hills and plains, to be here in this holy place. We are done traveling. We will be stable. We will be still. But we are moving, moving with direction, moving in the light of God, moving with our brothers. We are going, going forward, going to the New Jerusalem, to the Assisi in our hearts, to the cave in our souls, to meet God, to meet Jesus, to meet Francis as ourselves.
***
Here begins another new mini-feature of the blog, which I will simply call "Log."
Log
This morning: Caravan tour of the Santa Ynez Valley, passing through the center of Santa Ynez itself, as well as Buellton, Los Olivos, and Solvang. Tour of Mission Santa Ines, founded 1804, one of the 21 historic California missions planted by Franciscan friars. Controlled by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, it has been in Capuchin hands since 1924. I want to return and look longer at the museum, church, garden, and cemetery. I will definitely return to worship with what is very much a vibrant parish community.
This afternoon: rest, then assisting our kitchen manager with the evening meal, which includes setting the tables and serving areas in the refectory.
This evening, we will be given the names of our formation advisors and spiritual directors. We will also receive our house jobs for the year.
***
Here begins another new mini-feature of the blog, which I will simply call "Log."
Log
This morning: Caravan tour of the Santa Ynez Valley, passing through the center of Santa Ynez itself, as well as Buellton, Los Olivos, and Solvang. Tour of Mission Santa Ines, founded 1804, one of the 21 historic California missions planted by Franciscan friars. Controlled by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, it has been in Capuchin hands since 1924. I want to return and look longer at the museum, church, garden, and cemetery. I will definitely return to worship with what is very much a vibrant parish community.
This afternoon: rest, then assisting our kitchen manager with the evening meal, which includes setting the tables and serving areas in the refectory.
This evening, we will be given the names of our formation advisors and spiritual directors. We will also receive our house jobs for the year.
***
Lectio Divina
The LORD shall ransom Jacob,
he shall redeem him from a hand too strong for him.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Auditions
Today: Reading the novitiate manual. Writing a reflection on novitiate for the Province of St. Mary vocation office. Interview with the formators in the afternoon. Simple sharing of biographical information and vocation story. This will help the novice directors select a spiritual director for me.
This evening: choral auditions. We need cantors for daily and special liturgies. We are also forming a schola, or choir for occasional services, such as feast days and solemnities. I discovered my voice at St. Martin Parish in Baltimore with the Cap Corps in 2002. I was the drummer in the gospel choir, and one day the director asked me to take a solo, and he didn't mean drum solo. Who knew a drummer could sing? God knew my voice, and God bid me to share it beyond the confines of the bathroom shower. I honed it with the Seminary Singers at Boston University School of Theology. Now my heart cannot keep from singing. I look forward to leading song and raising my tenor in the schola.
Continuing kitchen duties. Today, I am refectorian, which means wiping the table tops, bench tops, and chairs, and mopping the floors, then helping the other kitchen crewmates clean remaining dishes and crockery.
Another birthday: today, we celebrate one of our novice directors. Blessings of hope and good health to him!
***
Internet time is tight, as you know. Blogging time is precious. Accordingly, I will introduce mini-features to give you glimpses of novitiate life in its emotional, intellectual, ministerial, and spiritual dimensions. Here is the first, which I will call "Lectio Divina." I will share with you a Scripture verse, or a phrase or sentence from a spiritual reading I am meditating on that day.
Lectio Divina
Blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear.
Matthew 16:13
This evening: choral auditions. We need cantors for daily and special liturgies. We are also forming a schola, or choir for occasional services, such as feast days and solemnities. I discovered my voice at St. Martin Parish in Baltimore with the Cap Corps in 2002. I was the drummer in the gospel choir, and one day the director asked me to take a solo, and he didn't mean drum solo. Who knew a drummer could sing? God knew my voice, and God bid me to share it beyond the confines of the bathroom shower. I honed it with the Seminary Singers at Boston University School of Theology. Now my heart cannot keep from singing. I look forward to leading song and raising my tenor in the schola.
Continuing kitchen duties. Today, I am refectorian, which means wiping the table tops, bench tops, and chairs, and mopping the floors, then helping the other kitchen crewmates clean remaining dishes and crockery.
Another birthday: today, we celebrate one of our novice directors. Blessings of hope and good health to him!
***
Internet time is tight, as you know. Blogging time is precious. Accordingly, I will introduce mini-features to give you glimpses of novitiate life in its emotional, intellectual, ministerial, and spiritual dimensions. Here is the first, which I will call "Lectio Divina." I will share with you a Scripture verse, or a phrase or sentence from a spiritual reading I am meditating on that day.
Lectio Divina
Blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear.
Matthew 16:13
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