A Comma: More Notes From Retreat

Concluding the notes I took down during my retreat week. These final jottings came on Jan. 19, while moving through a discernment process for use in the formation of persons in the Franciscan way of life.

I title these scribblings "A Comma." See if you can see why.

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[Guiding Scripture text: Mark 10:51]

A Franciscan Discernment Process
For Use in Formation

Place yourself in the presence of the Lord. Our focus is on Jesus in a Gospel scene such as his healing of the blind Bartimaeus. Hear the Lord ask you, "What do you want me to do for you?" Respond by asking for light, perhaps using Francis' own Prayer Before the Crucifix.

[A series of prompts and questions follows. These notes are from my little fat notebook.]

A Comma
Q -- What do you want me to do for you?

A -- Help me not to ask, "Give me your Word"
Help me to ask, "Give me, your word"

I am the word in direct proportion to
the degree I accept the gift

I give the word to the degree that
what I am, is the word and
what I will is God's will

Q -- Is my desire God's unconditioned desire?

The word actuates God's unconditioned desire

Help me see what you give -- me
Help me desire what you give, and give it
as you have given it

I feel calm, resolute
My body feels good, healthy,
A little stiff and sore but strong
enough to be built up

God is circulating within me
God is near outside of me
God's shield is still around me

God says, Help others receive you, a word of God
God says, Help others read you interpret you
God says, let others help God give you by reading you and interpreting you

I am comfortable with this
God has given me this awareness

Q -- What keeps me from being freely read and received?
What keeps me from giving my word so it is read and received rightly and fully?

Q -- Is it time for a change?
What is it, and will I accept it?

1. Admit your need of joy and when you do not feel it
2. Make people more comfortable to share their joy with you
3. Let others teach you how to feel joy and show it
4. Let others show you how to play
5. Adopt more play in your living

--Receive the whole gift--
--Be the whole word--
--Say it wholly, perfectly--

***

It is time to meditate on whatever happened during the retreat. It is time to sleep, perchance to dream, on these pinpoints of seeing. Then, to become more alive to what I am becoming aware of day by day and all of a sudden.