Agitating, Equilibrating

It has been a sedate but purposeful Sunday afternoon following an evening and morning of agitation Franciscan style.

I have written about my hidden yet public prayer of the previous evening. Mass this morning was next door at St. Michael Parish, where I am a lector. Following worship I buttonholed the associate pastor with a query about his sermon, which concerned Jesus' teaching to repay to Caesar and to God what belongs respectively to each. His thoughts about the Wall Street occupation and the Catholic dissenter's primary duty to God in worship stirred my disputatious side. Our conversation about religion and politics surfaced our disagreements but ended in concord.

The same kind of conversation arose when I spoke to my family this afternoon, with some messier eruptions. But this conversation, too, ended in charity. Religion, money, and power: hot topics, indeed!

The occupation movement is prompting all kinds of action and reaction. A friend of mine in Cambridge, Mass., is contemplating whether to engage in it, given the many ways that open hearts can put their ready hands to work in mindful healing of the world. I admire her thoughtful discernment of a phenomenon bursting with enthusiasms and fraught with ambiguities.

Discovering the occupation movements is like discovering fire. On the one hand I desire to be present with the people for sustained periods in continuous prayer, to keep the fire going. (It is consistent with the Capuchin Franciscan charisms to bear the Pentecost spirit of the risen Christ wherever the poor are gathered.) At the same time I can only take in so much of the scene at one time. Fire is bright, and it can burn. The people of the commune in Zuccotti Park are living at a high intensity, and it is easy to get oversaturated by the light and heat and sound they generate collectively. The Boston occupation is less heavy because it is smaller, but it, too, demands a lot of energy from those drawn into its gravitational pull.

The occupation movements are awesome but also much too intimidating to most Americans to welcome all of the 99 percent they claim to represent. I feel weak and, strange to say, unfit for the out-loud living that is happening at these occupations. My offerings seem so small. Here in New York City, I do not feel like the gifts or wisdoms of people of traditional or institutionally religious faith are being affirmed or actively sought. (Could it really be that the dreams of conventionally religious people are too small, too tired, too unreal, too violent for the people of Zuccotti Park?) But I will defend the occupation movements from those who misunderstand them or misrepresent them or wish harm to the people who gather daily in assembly. "You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire" (Peter Gabriel, "Biko").

On Tuesday evening a friar and I will be attending a panel discussion at Fordham University titled "Faithful Citizenship: Keeping the Faith in a Season of Spin." Religious faith meeting modern life; the citizens of God's kingdom striving to live faithfully while subjects of Caesar's dominions. This is the kind of conversation I live for. It is the kind of God-talk I hope will nourish me for holy living and brace me and all of my religious brothers for the once and eternal showdown with Caesar in Jerusalem.

***

Agitating done, now I have been gently equilibrating, making ready to resume my routine of work and prayer. We will have meditation, evening prayer, and dinner as usual. Tonight I will continue assigned reading about the history of the Eucharist, and I will review my reading from the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Jesus Christ for this week's lessons.

This afternoon I crossed one long-standing item off my to-do list. The Capuchin development office, which published the quarterly Capuchin Journey magazine, would like an 800-word article from me about the postulancy experience. I proposed to compile excerpts from this public diary, and the staff agreed that would make for a good read. So I put the pieces together this afternoon; the draft has been submitted, and I look forward to getting the piece into its best shape for publication. And, with full admission of my proneness to pride, I also look forward to gaining a wider audience for the blog!