Why I Pray

This morning the postulants met with a Capuchin friar to talk about, and practice, meditative prayer. Inevitably, the discussion turned to our personal views of prayer, and the brother asked us what is prayer for us today. I resisted giving an answer, because for me prayer has always been more a matter of how I live and less a matter of what I do. So I told the brother that why I pray has always been more important for me than what I say of prayer. (I was not trying to be snide or snippy with the good friar; I am glad he is visiting us to help us pray the way we would like to live, and live the way we would like to pray.)

And then I was reminded of a little note I wrote almost five years ago in response to a question from a good friend of mine, a fellow student at Boston University School of Theology who is now writing her doctoral thesis on the phenomenon of the pub church. I post it here in the hope that it connects to you. To my delight, the words below, though five years old, still ring true to my understanding and practices of prayer, and they are lively words.

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"Your love is teaching me how to kneel." U2, "Vertigo"
"Seek the Lord while he may be found, call him while he is near." Isaiah 55:6 (NAB)
"Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He should sing praise." James 4:13 (NAB)
"Standing by God's river, my soul is beginnin' to shake." Bob Dylan, "Summer Days"

This is a partial answer to a simple question asked of me: Why do I pray?

I pray because I have been loved. I pray because I want to love.
Love never fails, but when I have failed to love, I pray.
When I know no other way to tell my friends how much I love them, I pray.
When I know there is no other way to tell my enemies I love them, I pray.
When I feel that demons are near, I pray.
When I feel that angels are near, I pray.
When I feel that God is near, I pray.
When I am lonely and I miss people more than I want to, I pray.
When I am lonely and I miss God more than I can bear, I pray.

I pray because I need.
Because I've longed, I pray.
Because I've cried, I pray.
Because I've felt joy, I pray.
And because I still need to long and cry and feel joy, I pray.

Prayer is utterly personal.

I am a soulful entity. As food and drink sustain the inspirited body, so does prayer sustain the embodied spirit.

As breathing is to the life of the inspirited body, so is prayer to the life of the embodied spirit.

Because I do, I pray. Because I am, I pray.
Prayer is the most I can do. A prayer is the most I can be.

Prayer is utterly practical.

I pray because I remember. I pray because I forget.
I pray because you pray. I pray because we pray.
I pray because you asked me. I pray because you didn't ask me.
I pray because I seek. I pray because I have found.
I pray because I was given. I pray because I will give.
I pray because I know. I pray because I don't know. I pray because one day all will know.

Because I'm sorry, I pray. Because I'm not yet sorry, I pray.
Because I am distressed, I pray. Because you are distressed, I pray.
When I feel mortal, I pray. When I feel divine, I pray.

Prayer contains me. Prayer releases me. Prayer joins me to things. Prayer sets me apart.

Prayer reveals me. And I believe prayer reveals God.

I pray because we belong to God.
I pray because we are made to be like God.
I pray because we are made to love, relate, and create like God.
I pray because I want to know God.
I pray because I'm sick of just talking about God.
I pray because God overwhelms me. God has stirred my soul.