Thursday, January 31, 2013

Natural History

Lectio Divina

... rouse one another to love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24

Library

Continuing to read what my theology buddies are reading. Also took a look at the winter issue of The Capuchin Journey, published by the development office for the Province of Saint Mary. It features the Superstorm Sandy relief efforts led by our friars and lay secular volunteers who have served hot meals and repaired homes. I am very proud of what they have done with their limited means.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass combined in the back chapel. Then, after breakfast, off to the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History to see the blue whale and mammoth skeletons and exhibits on the local biology and geology, including halls for insects, mammal and marine life. There was a special photo exhibit of regional owls and woodpeckers. I also saw an exhibit on the Chumash tribes who inhabited the coast, islands, and inland areas of the Central Coast of California. Later, I talked to members of the Santa Barbara chapter of the National Audubon Society, who maintain an aviary on site for disabled birds. I saw up close a barn owl, red-tailed hawk, kestrel, and peregrine falcon. Such beautiful creatures!

It's not a large museum, and some of the exhibits appeared dated, but some basic knowledge never changes. A couple of grade schoolers came and went during the afternoon. It all reminded me of my own elementary school field trips to local science museums, with the always-much-anticipated stop at the gift store with the cool-looking rocks, seashells, or kaleidoscopes.

Coming away from the visit, feeling grateful for creation and wishing I had another lifetime, or at least a do-over of the last thirty years, in which to study God's handiwork more attentively. Natural history is a part of divine history.

Now, to evening prayer, then celebrating a friar's birthday, the fifth birthday we are celebrating in our community this month.

Weather

Warm with sunny skies. A good day to be out.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Body to Offer

Lectio Divina

A body you prepared for me.

Hebrews 10:5 (see also Psalm 40:6-7)

Library

Finished reading selected chapters of Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree, and much invigorated by his prophetic fire. How Cone, a black liberation theologian from the African Methodist Episcopal tradition, loves the cross and the crucified Christ! How his faith is strengthened and challenged by the cross and crucified Savior! But how different from the way a Catholic, especially a Franciscan, loves the Crucified and his cross. I need to ponder this some more.

Now to Basil, John Chrysostom, and Gregory of Nyssa, and hoping to correspond soon with my reading buddies about what I have read. Thinking about the holiness of bodies. Also thinking a lot about the nature of sacrifice -- of making things holy -- and how sacrifice effects redemption. Looking also to distinguish sacrifice from the suffering that so often accompanies sacrifice.

Log

Had our day of recollection with Bill Wicks of the Secular Franciscans. Now praying that with the help of groups like the Secular Franciscans, the Church may fully promote the dignity -- and fulfillment -- of secular vocations. After all, most of the children of God in the body of Christ are called to holiness in the world.

Now, a gentle evening with the brothers. Planning to watch a couple of religious documentaries with them. Tomorrow, off to the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History.

Weather

Warm and pleasant. Dare I say it is getting warmer? Dare I be a groundhog and say spring is around the corner?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Do God's Will

Lectio Divina

I come to do your will.

Hebrews 10:7

Library

Continuing to read Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree, and patristic sources on theological anthropology.

Log
 
Continuing our class sessions on the Secular Franciscans. For basic information about the Third Order, go to their national website.

This afternoon, house chores, which now means watering the grounds, raking, and occasionally re-painting any of the 28 benches on the grounds, among many other things.

This evening, beginning our day of recollection, with Bill Wicks of the Secular Franciscans as our presenter.

Weather

Cool, sometimes cold, but comfortable.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Secular Franciscans

Lectio Divina

He entered into heaven itself.

Hebrews 9:24 (New Living Translation)

Library

Continuing Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree, and the other theological readings from my reading buddies.

Log

At the evening meal on Sunday I met a man named Bill Wicks, a member of the Secular Franciscan Order, also known as the Third Order in the Franciscan family. Francis of Assisi is known most of all for establishing radically new communities of men and women religious (First Order and Second Order, respectively) whose way of life was grounded in the Gospel. But he also established an order for men and women who strove also to live according to the Gospel yet would not be taking the vows of consecrated life -- an order for people who chose to remain in the world in their state of life as spouses, parents, and working people. It is this family of sisters and brothers in Christ, sons and daughters of Francis, that Bill Wicks has come to speak to us about this week during class sessions and a day of recollection on Wednesday.

There are an estimated 13,000 members of the Secular Franciscans in the United States today -- there are many more Third Order Franciscans than Franciscan women and men religious -- but strangely enough, I never met any of them until I shared the evening meal with Bill last night. We religious Franciscans need to reconnect with our numerous secular cousins. And I think we need to do much more to share Franciscan spirituality and practices of discipleship on an ecumenical basis, and with young people, with a sensitivity to their existential realities, which preclude for them the more traditional forms of commitment that participation in the Secular Franciscans requires.

This afternoon, spiritual direction at Old Mission Santa Barbara, and schola rehearsal this evening.

Weather

Continuing to be temperate even as the rest of the world freezes over.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

One Though Many

Lectio Divina

As a body is one ... and all the parts ... are one body, so also Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:12 

Library

One of my reading buddies in Boston has connected me with more texts that treat the subject of theological anthropology in ancient/patristic Christianity, these being from two of the Cappadocian Fathers: Basil and Gregory of Nyssa, and also John Chrysostom. Still reading Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree, and catching up with the latest Commonweal.

Log

Morning prayer in the back chapel, and Mass outdoors, late in the morning, with 150 high school students preparing for confirmation from Saint Barnabas Parish in Long Beach, south of Los Angeles, at the Circle V Camp at Rancho Allegre near Lake Cachuma. One of our Capuchin priests celebrated the Eucharist with them and their catechists, peer ministers, and youth ministry leaders. It's always good to worship out in nature, especially if the weather is tolerable! And despite the chill wind and the crisp temperatures in the shade, it was tolerable, even acceptable.

This afternoon and evening, a reprise of my role as cook for the novices. Last evening it was quiche (vegan, with spinach, mushrooms, and onions), fritatta (vegetarian, with eggs), quinoa, salad, recycled pork and green beans, and apple crisp. This evening, it was teriyaki chicken and mixed vegetables, tofu and mixed vegetables marinated in a ginger lemon soy sauce, white rice, and chai-spiced rice pudding pie with a gingersnap crust. I've felt confident about my baking skills for some time, and now I am feeling better about my improving cooking skills. 

Now, to read in prayerful silence before night prayer and communal recreation. 

Weather

Beautiful at San Lorenzo, more beautiful in the camp by Lake Cachuma, and most bright and beautiful within.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Cooking, Cooking, Cooking

Lectio Divina

I recall your sincere faith.

2 Timothy 1:5

Library

Today, it's Moskowitz and Romero, Vegan Pie in the Sky, and Stepaniak, The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook, plus a couple of recipes hooked from the Internet.

Log

Morning prayer, Mass, and midday prayer in the back chapel. Aside from that, I'm in the kitchen all day with Jesus and with one of my novice brothers, preparing the evening meal. I'll be there again all day tomorrow excepting morning prayer and Mass and night prayer. Taking a small break now to publish The Caperone.

Weather

The rains have abated for now, to my surprise. It's warm, sunny even, and I feel bad for the rest of the country, which is besieged by freezing blasts. Tonight, it's a full moon. I feel energetic.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Return to Galilee

Lectio Divina

Jesus returned to Galilee....

Luke 4:14

In my haste to return to my Jerusalem (Boston?) and Rome (New York?), do I forget or despise the Galilees of my pilgrimage? Be patient, breathe, and remain where you are. Before you do something, learn how to do nothing, so as to let God truly do the moving.

Library

Read the early and patristic sources pertaining to theologies of the body in ancient Christianity. Now continuing Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree.

Log

Going gently from morning prayer, Mass, and breakfast to the prison. The next novitiate newsletter will publish tomorrow, and you will get the electronic link in a few more days.

This evening, faith sharing in our own small groups, then a little bit of communal recreation before turning to the kitchen to begin preparations for the Saturday evening meal. Your correspondent hit Double Zero on the roulette wheel: I'll be cooking for the fraternity both Saturday and Sunday. Every three weeks (22 days, to be exact) a novice begins his eight-day shift of kitchen duties, which entails clean-up after meals on the first six days, and setup for the evening meal on the last two, assisting the kitchen manager who prepares our weekday meals. When those final two days fall on the weekend, you do the cooking yourself. My latest shift in the kitchen began last Sunday, which is why I will now be cooking twice. You know what that means: all the vegan you can eat! My carnivorous brothers need not fear, for there will be animal-based protein foods, too. 

The chocolate banana cheesecake was a hit. In fact, it's already gone.

Weather

The skies poured forth a half inch of rain yesterday. We expect more rain today. The creeks have begun to run again. Some streets in Santa Barbara County actually flooded. May the wellsprings run so deep and broad within my heart, too.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Reading Buddy

Lectio Divina

... the power of a life that cannot be destroyed....

Hebrews 7:16

Library

My theologian friends have come through! I am now their reading buddy, studying what they are studying (on my personal time, of course).

One doctoral student friend is beginning to study Augustine. Her course is beginning with the patristic writers and their theologies on the body. From her I received PDF documents excerpting works by Origen and Tertullian on resurrection and the body; the apocryphal Acts of Paul and Thecla of the second century; the Symposium by Saint Methodius, and two articles of recent commentary on the history of the body in Christian theology.

The other doctoral student friend is a teaching assistant in a course on the practices of Christian faith. She sent me selected chapters from James Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree (Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis Books, 2011).

Still plowing through Mumford when I can. Keeping up with the periodicals, too.

Log

Been a few days since I posted, the first long lapse in a while. No need to be alarmed, readers: keeping offline has become more natural to me than being online.

This week, we studied the documents of the plenary councils of the Capuchin order. These are meetings that have occurred once every few years in between the general chapters of the order. They are smaller in size and scope than the general chapter, in which a minister general and board of definitors is elected to govern the global order, and major policies affecting our way of life can be enacted. In the plenary council, of which there have been seven since the Second Vatican Council, a group of about forty delegates examine one facet of Capuchin life in detail and create a document summarizing perspectives on the subject at hand. The most recent plenary councils, held in Assisi in 1998 and 2004, respectively addressed fraternal life in its aspects of poverty and minority, which are really two sides of the same coin, and issued propositions for action. The impetus for these two plenary councils was building global solidarity within the order, addressing, among other things, the growth of the order into a truly international fraternity, and the increasing disparities between materially rich but numerically dwindling provinces in developed nations and materially lacking but vocationally booming provinces in developing nations.

There is more to ponder in these documents than I can relate to you here. But if you would like to read these practical, quietly radical, and inspiring documents, go here and select "Living Poverty in Brotherhood" and "Our Fraternal Life in Minority."

Today, after Mass and morning prayer, went to Santa Maria to celebrate the birthday of one of the novice brothers at the only Korean restaurant in Santa Barbara County. A good time was had by all. This afternoon, putting some finishing touches on the February novitiate newsletter, but it's not done yet. This evening, resuming our birthday celebrations with the whole fraternity. My vegan chocolate banana cheesecake will make things that much sweeter.

Weather

The rains are heavy, the sky is moody. I've been moody, but less so today. Aiming to be pensive without being oppressive.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Sun, Rise

Lectio Divina

“Fill the jars with water.”

John 2:7  

Library

Continuing Mumford, The City in History, and finished the recent issue of National Catholic Reporter. Still looking for some new literature, spiritual and theological.

Log

Morning prayer in the back chapel, followed by a leisurely morning over the newspapers and the crosswords. Two Masses at the prison this afternoon. Returned to San Lorenzo in the middle of holy hour, where I remembered in prayer Lena Tomeo, the grandmother of my brother-in-law. A light evening of recreation with the brothers after prayerful silence and night prayer.

I am continuing prayers to God for myself, too. I am asking the Spirit to grant me patience, adaptability, and the capacity to slow down more. I am asking for a listening ear and a willingness to respond to spiritual direction from whatever direction it comes.

Weather

Beautiful, so beautiful out there these last three days. May the light I have seen and the warmth I have felt on my skin sink like the sun into my heart and rise in my soul.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bring a Full Vessel

Lectio Divina

... not ... the righteous but sinners.

Mark 2:17

Library

Read most of the current National Catholic Reporter yesterday. About 200 pages to go in Mumford. Open to my friends' suggestions for spiritual and theological reading. Looking especially for works by women and people of color. 

Log

Woke this morning grounded on the seesaw, with no partner on the other side to lift me up. Sped through morning prayer in the chapel, feeling like everyone around me was going much too slow. (Maybe they are, but certainly I am reciting the psalms too quickly.) Not a good start. Never been a morning person, and never will. How to bring the best of yourself at the hours when you are neither being nor doing your best ... this is the work of my continuing conversion.

House chapter this morning to touch on formation matters, namely the second formal evaluation; spirituality matters, including the quality of our common prayer and worship, the progress on our chapel renovations, and possible communal practices of prayer and penance for Lent; and fraternal matters, including reassignment to other house jobs. In all likelihood I will continue to edit The Caperone, as last year's editors served the whole year, but perhaps I may shift off of cleaning the exercise shed and sweeping the sidewalks. Thus this afternoon I expect to continue as it normally would, and I will be receiving and editing submissions while writing copy for the newsletter.

Worshipping tomorrow at the prison in the afternoon. Faith sharing yesterday was strong and spirited.

When I pray for myself, my prayer is for patience, and to be who I am today. The best man, not the groom. John the Baptist, not the Christ. Living in this hour, not demanding my hour to come before its time. Bringing my vessel to God, not empty, but brimming with water, so that Jesus, through the power of God's Holy Spirit, may draw wine from it.

Weather

The last two days were warmer than the seasonal average. If only every day were like them.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Being Pensive

Lectio Divina

The Son did not come to help angels.

Hebrews 2:16 (New Living Translation)

Library

Staying home today, so I am plowing through Mumford, The City in History. Reading his perspectives on the medieval city and the Church makes me grieve for our failure throughout time to witness to the reign of heaven. Instead of building the city of God, a temporary dwelling place for pilgrims on the way to the kin(g)dom to come, the Church and society have continued to rebuild cities of Babylon. A shame, and it's got me feeling grumpy all over again. Also quite taken by his take on Francis of Assisi and what became of the Franciscan movement at the hands of a well-meaning, well-intentioned, but not always inspired, unwittingly mendacious, and often downright malicious Church. I agree with Mumford, though I suspect most of my Franciscan brothers would not.

Log

Completed, for now, our study of the Capuchin Constitutions. We have only just begun to imbibe of their spirit. Brother Jack, who left this morning, also left us an essay by him for a work in progress on the theological foundations of the Constitutions.

Continuing, in a different key, the hermitage time of yesterday into today. Going offsite for fraternal recreation is an option, even a concession, not an obligation. So I'm staying put and reading Mumford and being pensive.

But I must not get too withdrawn. Unlike Saint Anthony of Egypt, I'm not cut out for perpetual solitude. Being by myself for too long makes me forgetful of my neighbor; it makes me treat my neighbor less than neighborly. Isolation will only beget misanthropy. Becoming a brother is my salvation. It is also my penance, but firstly it is my liberation from alienation, a freeing from my divisive, turned-in, violent self.

Weather

It's a beautiful day out there. There is always more beauty than we can perceive. I wish I could see and feel it. Today I don't feel as beautiful as God made me -- can't see what God sees. Christ, have mercy.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Go Lower, Become Higher

Lectio Divina

... it was not to angels....

Hebrews 2:5

We are not disembodied persons. We are not destined to become angels. We will not become disincarnate in heaven. We are human. We are destined to be prophets, like Martin Luther King Jr., and saints, like Francis of Assisi. We meet the world to come in this world. Bound for glory, we get there by being lowly, here and now.

Library

Reading The Constitutions of the Capuchin Friars Minor, Mumford, and whatever else the Spirit puts before me.

Log

This morning, Mass in our back chapel, with Brother Jack as the presider. Now, continuing our class sessions on the Capuchin Constitutions and beginning our small group presentations today. This afternoon, working on the newsletter and perhaps squeezing in an hour on the treadmill or on the pleasant country paths surrounding the seminary.

Weather

Sometimes the heat doesn't work in one of the seminary residence halls or another. It's our favorite parlor game, guessing how cold it will be outside and how warm it will be inside.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Being Ordinary

Lectio Divina

... after John was arrested, Jesus went ...

Mark 1:14 (New Living Translation)

Library

Continuing Mumford, The City in History, and The Constitutions of the Capuchin Friars Minor, plus America and National Catholic Reporter and anything else the Spirit brings my way for my edification.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass in the back chapel, where we will remain for common prayer until the end of the month. Heard the shortest sermon ever this morning, all of six words: Repent, and believe in the Gospel. Much more could and ought to be said on how Jesus meant that, but indeed, what more can be said?

Resuming our class sessions with Bro. Jack Rathschmidt on the Capuchin Constitutions, proceeding chapter by chapter through the document. He will present the first two chapters, and the small groups of novices will present the subsequent chapters.

This afternoon, taking down the Christmas trees and decorations inside and the nativity scene outside the main chapel. It is ordinary time once more, when we observe the mystery of Christ in its totality as opposed to any one particular aspect. Advent and Christmas are for the mystery of the Incarnation; Lent and Easter for the Passion, Crucifixion, and Resurrection. Ordinary time is for all of these mysteries, including the luminous mysteries of Jesus' earthly ministry, which over the years has become paramount for me.

This evening, resuming rehearsals with the schola, then communal recreation.

Weather

Fending off the chill, mostly with success.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Stand by the Groom

Lectio Divina

... whoever fears [God] and acts uprightly is acceptable.

Acts 10:35

Library

Continuing Mumford, The City in History. Getting back to The Constitutions of the Capuchins Friar Minor in preparation for this week's class presentation.

Log

Was in a rough mood yesterday. Sometimes the blues will dog you all the day long with no cause. I felt like some fateful finger was pressing down heavily on the cosmic Pause button. It was a feeling that was hard to shake. A vicious cycle ensued: believing that I was being less than all I could be actually made me be less than all I could be.

John the Baptist was glad to be the best man to Jesus Christ, standing beside the bridegroom joyfully and hearing his vows. At this stage of novitiate, at this point in initial formation, I feel like I am John the Baptist, attending to the bridegroom who is taking the vows. Most days I am glad to be where I am and who I am at this juncture. But yesterday I could not be, at least not so joyfully. It was not enough to be John the Baptist. I wanted -- I want -- to be the bridegroom now, and take the vows now. After all, doesn't the bridegroom say that the least in the kin(g)dom of heaven is greater than John the Baptist? I should want at least to be the least in the reign of heaven. Maybe my botheration, my restlessness, was merely the flipside, the melancholic sign of what is in itself a healthy desire. An hour on the treadmill last night helped me work off the frustration, running in place to shake the malign whispers telling me I'm merely "running in place."

Thank you God, for your grace that picks me up when I fall into frustration. Help me spend the remaining six months of novitiate in a spirit of joyful standing by the bridegroom, with faith-filled hearing, hopeful that my time to speak the vows will come.

Today, Mass at St. John Neumann Parish in Santa Maria. This afternoon, perhaps a walk and another phone call to my brother. Then, holy hour, the evening meal, prayerful silence, and communal recreation. And another week at San Lorenzo begins.

Weather

Sunny and not so cold as it was yesterday.

Contact Info; Weekly Schedule

Thought it would be a good idea at this halfway point in novitiate to remind folks how to reach their brother:

Send correspondences to

Bro. Anthony Zuba, OFM Cap.
San Lorenzo Seminary
PO Box 247
Santa Ynez, CA 93460

Telephone: (805) 688-5630
E-mail: anthonyzuba@gmail.com

If you are sending a package via US Mail, use the PO Box. If you are using other couriers, use street address, 1802 Sky Drive.

While we're at it, let's repost the usual weekly schedule, taken from the novice manual. The actual day-to-day schedule may vary somewhat according to the season and occasion. As before, note well the blocks of personal time, for these would be the best periods for telephone calls and personal calls! If you would like to visit the seminary, pay especial attention to the obligatory commitments (i.e., prayer, class, chores, ministry), around which we would schedule time together.

All times Pacific.

Sunday
8:00 Morning Prayer
9:00 Eucharist at San Lorenzo Friary or Local Parishes
Personal Time Until Evening Prayer
4:30 Evening Prayer and Eucharistic Adoration
5:30 Fraternal Gathering
6:15 Dinner
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Communal Recreation

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Class
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Work Projects (Monday)
         House Jobs (Tuesday)
         Hermitage Time (Wednesday, Until 5:00)
3:00 Personal Time (Except Wed.)
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence and Study (Choral Practice on Mon.; Personal Time on Wed.)
8:45 Night Prayer (In Private on Wed.)
9:00 Communal Recreation

Thursday
8:00 Eucharist With Morning Prayer
9:00 Personal Time
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Prayerful Silence
8:45 Night Prayer
9:00 Personal Time

Friday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
8:00 Breakfast
9:00 Ministry
5:15 Evening Prayer
5:30 Meditation
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Faith Sharing
9:00 Communal Recreation

Saturday
6:30 Morning Prayer
6:45 Meditation
7:20 Eucharist
9:00 Work Projects
11:45 Midday Prayer
12:00 Lunch
1:00 House Jobs
5:00 Office of Readings
5:20 Meditation
5:45 Evening Prayer
6:00 Dinner
7:45 Personal Time
Night Prayer in Private

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Halftime

Lectio Divina

... the best man ... stands and listens for him....

John 3:29

Library

Continuing Mumford, The City in History, in and around the current issues of America and National Catholic Reporter.

Log

As of last night, the novices have been in California for 26 weeks. We have 183 days left at San Lorenzo. It is truly halftime.

This morning, working in the garden. This afternoon, working on the newsletter. This evening, celebrating the birthday of one of our resident friars. An average Saturday at San Lorenzo.

Weather

The chill creeps in and penetrates. It's cold in many places, but that's how the cold feels here.

Friday, January 11, 2013

You Are My Beloved

Lectio Divina

"You are my beloved Son."


Luke 3:22

Library

Continuing Mumford, The City in History, and only Mumford, for now. Almost halfway through the book, at last.

Log

Today, ministry at FCC Lompoc, leading the two faith sharing groups. This evening, faith sharing in our own small groups. I am concentrating my meditations on the words from Luke cited above. The men at Lompoc have made requests for Bible study materials from me and my novice brother; we will bring these requests to the attention of the head chaplain. Although ours is not a Bible study group and we are not doing exegesis, we would like the men to have ample opportunity to read and reflect prayerfully on the Gospels during the week in preparation for our reflections together. In order to reflect on what the text is saying to them, first they need to know what the text is saying.

Good news from my brother Nicholas: he has been accepted into the Master of Public Administration program of the school he most wants to attend. His work is presenting itself. Congratulations to him, and thanks be to God for the opening of his future. My prayers for him will continue, both in gratitude and in continued petition for his good, as I hope the school supplies him much of his means to live and study with a fellowship. 

Weather

More than cold enough for all of us.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Pea Soup

Lectio Divina

"... fulfilled in your hearing."

Luke 4:21

And from the urban hymns and city psalms of The Pilgrim, words worth considering in the manner of lectio divina:

"... by being there, not not wanting to be there." (Italics mine.) --Kevin Walker, "Tranquility" (a meditation by homeless person on a sleeping soundly by the Charles River and waking up to perfect silence)

"Learning to see every moment as sacred is rough work, but eventually a tender heart makes up for it all." --Brian, "The Roughest Sweetest Place" (which for him is his meditation cushion)

Library

The Pilgrim in the chapel stall, The City in History on my night-table. Literary dispatches from the New Jerusalem, and a postmortem on the glory and horror of ancient Rome. Both are bracing reading.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass combined in the back chapel, followed by our typical day of extended personal time. Brother Jack took the New York/New England novices and our brother from the Guam vice-province to Buellton for lunch. We went to a place called Andersen's, an inn-bakery-restaurant renowned for its "world famous" split pea soup, which it has been ladling since 1924 and now serves to the order of 2 million bowls every year. Having passed by the place many times now on the way to church or ministry or recreation, I had to test their claim to fame. So I had two bowls with bread, crackers, and Danish red cabbage. If I wasn't so concerned about eating temperately, I would have had more bowls. The staff were kind and gracious and the atmosphere most pleasant. Good company and good food.

Now I have to say that our kitchen manager makes as good a pea soup as the Andersen's cooks. Both he and they make a great soup. But our dedicated kitchen captain can only serve it to thirty hungry friars. Bless the cooks and servers at Andersen's who bring such a good soup to hundreds of thousands of wayfarers.

Why this fuss about pea soup? I would like to think it's not gluttony or untoward cravings (God forbid), but the cultivation of a spirit of simplicity and a cheerful appreciation for common things. In a culture that valorizes unbridled material consumption; in an economy whose wealth depends on the masses' insatiable desire for sights, sounds, smells, and tastes in endless variety, the more exotic, even deviant, the better; in a society that pays tribute to those who can satisfy their cravings on demand -- in sum, in a world that turns the person into a mindless devourer, a body suckling at everything it can grasp and evacuating it all, making waste of life -- I think the alternative is to put down the menu and go with the pea soup.

This afternoon, sent off the last (but not least) of the correspondences I have been meaning to write. Thank you, friends, for your patience. An hour on the treadmill, plus a little reading, to which I now return for the duration of prayerful silence, then night prayer, and communal recreation.

Weather

The world grows a little colder but it grows warmer within.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Rend the Heavens? Rend Your Garments

Lectio Divina

... rend the heavens and come down ...

Isaiah 63:19

Library

Reading The Constitutions of the Capuchin Friars Minor for Franciscan studies, The Pilgrim for spiritual reading, The City in History by Mumford for my continuing liberal education.

Log

Continuing our class sessions on the Capuchin Constitutions with Brother Jack. My novice brothers from our home province met to discuss our presentation on the chapter on apostolic life (ministry). We have our homework assignments.

This afternoon, hermitage time for the first time in a couple of weeks. Earlier in the afternoon I visited Old Mission Santa Ines for an hour of theological reflection on ministry with our Capuchin brother, Fr. Harold Snider, the Catholic chaplain at FCC Lompoc. A good meeting, conducted using the Socratic method. We will have these meetings probably monthly on a Wednesday. A good complement to the Friday faith-sharing session and the once-monthly Sunday Masses. Later in the afternoon, a walk off the beaten path in the now-green, green valley cradling our seminary.

Today was the first day I fasted since Christmas Eve. I was not really hungry, but I was craving all kinds of good things, and by turns I felt tired, weak, hazy, crabby, and ill-mannered, sometimes all at the same time. Still striving to consecrate all the choices that affect my body -- how I eat and drink, how I fast, how I sleep, how I exercise, and how I recreate. Realizing how far short I come up to a compassionate practice of the basic activities of life.

How I want to see heaven torn open and come down, or erupt from the earth and come up!  Both, and. Isaiah's prophetic poetry stirs me. "For Zion's sake I will not be quiet; for Jerusalem's sake I will not be still." But I am to remain here in the Santa Ynez Valley and be both quiet and still for another six months. I have not fully examined my conscience and consciousness. I have not synthesized my learnings or discoveries. I have not yet really and fully integrated my spiritual understanding of the Capuchin Franciscan life into my doing.

Rend the heavens? Rend your garments first.

It's not time to leave the desert. The personal and interpersonal conversion must continue. 

Weather

Couldn't see or feel the sun today.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Do Not Be Silent

Lectio Divina

For Zion's sake I will not be silent,
for Jerusalem's sake I will not keep still.

Isaiah 62:1

Library

Received a couple of newsletters today: The Pilgrim from the Black Seed Writers Group in Boston, transubstantiating the ugliness of homelessness into beauty through poetry; and Hospitality, published by Open Door Community, an ecumenical Catholic Worker community in Atlanta that ministers to the incarcerated. I read Hospitality from cover to cover before and during evening meditation. What a great witness to the Gospel in Georgia, and a fulfillment of Isaiah's vision of the Anointed who proclaims liberty to the captives. Let us all share in the proclamation, anointed or not. Let us work and pray for the end of the death penalty; an end to the daily abuse of human rights in our prisons and jails; and for humane and just alternatives to prisons.

Continuing to get Christmas and New Year greetings from friends. Thank you for writing; I am nearly caught up with correspondences!

Log

Continuing our class sessions on the Constitutions with Brother Jack. Will be making a group presentation with the novice brothers of my province next Tuesday or Wednesday on one of the chapters, concerning apostolic life, that is, ministry. We will present what the text says; what the text says to the Province of Saint Mary, as evidenced by our approach to ministry; what the ministerial practices of our province say about who we are as Capuchins; and what difference the Constitutions has in our Capuchin Franciscan life in New York and New England. We will interpret this chapter of the Constitutions through the core Capuchin charism of fraternal life and the peripheral charisms of contemplation (prayer), minority, and God's justice and peace.

This afternoon, a little prepatory work on the next issue of the newsletter. Spoke to my sister for the first time this year -- hooray! Now, to a check-in meeting with my formation advisor, then prayerful silence, night prayer, and a little communal recreation.

Weather

The sun is everywhere. The heat is not. Looking for the light and heat to come together.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Constitutions

Lectio Divina

He has sent me to bring good news to the poor.

Isaiah 61:1

Library

This week and next, reading the The Constitutions of the Capuchin Friars Minor.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass in the back chapel. Singing in key and at the appropriate tempo is becoming more of a challenge in these close quarters. The sound is a little crumbly! Our formator in charge of liturgy is returning from vacation today, so his presence will bring a little more solidity to our singing. His musical gifts are made better known in their absence. Now I appreciate better how his talents stir what Franciscans call "the spirit of prayer and devotion."

Feeling confident after my foray into baking with tofu on Saturday, I woke over an hour early this morning to prepare something you call a tofu scramble. It's just like scrambled eggs, but even better. I made enough for a few days of breakfasts and shared it proudly with my novice brothers after worship.

Brother Jack, who arrived last night, begins our class sessions on the Capuchin Constitutions this morning. He will be here for the next ten days. Watch this space for updates and insights into our learning on this document, which, founded on our charter, the Rule of Saint Francis, establishes both the letter and spirit of the Gospel life we live.

This afternoon, spiritual direction at Old Mission Santa Barbara. Most likely there will be no schola rehearsal this evening, as our formator is just coming back today. I wonder how rehearsals will sound when they resume in the back chapel. It's not an acoustically friendly space.

Weather

It's cold out there. The layers of clothing I wear conceal my body, but I hope they do not conceal my soul.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Corresponding

Lectio Divina

Nations shall walk by your light.

Isaiah 60:3

Library

No reading today except from the Bible and reflections on the readings of the day. Rather, giving friends something to read -- catching up on correspondences. 

Log

Morning prayer in the back chapel. It is a tight fit in there with 22 novice brothers and the eight professed friars, plus any guests along the way. In such close quarters it will be easy to get distracted from the presence of God by focusing on fraternal idiosyncrasies: he sings off key, he prays so slowly. I must focus not on the idiosyncrasies but on the synchrony among us. We are one in our diversity. We are the many parts of one religious family, and our religious family is one part of the body of Christ. God hears harmony when we hear dissonance.

Mass this afternoon at Our Lady of Angels Parish in Lompoc, followed by a near-nap on the way home and almost-sleep in my bedroom. Got busy writing letters, and after our hour of adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and a good meal, I feel revived. Will return to corresponding during the hour of prayerful silence, then communal recreation after night prayer. With the conclusion of Epiphany and the Christmas season, we are now back to our normal novitiate schedule.

Bro. Jack Rathschmidt arrived this evening after holy hour, during our social. I happened to be leaving the mailroom when I saw him accompanied by his ride, Bro. Brendan Buckley. I am glad he has got here safely, and I am looking forward very much to his fellowship these next two weeks as we study the Capuchin Constitutions with him.

Weather

A cold and wet morning and afternoon. The rain pelted the valley. The rain tapped indefatigably at my window and on my roof. I was rained into somnolence today. Now the rain has lifted, and I feel more awake, more aware.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

See Your Goodness

Lectio Divina

"Here is a true child of Israel."

John 1:47

A good sermon from our novice director this morning, proceeding from these words of Jesus. May we, who so often get stuck in the slough of despond when we consider our frailty and fallibility, our weaknesses and our failures, remember that God believes in us even more than we believe in ourselves. May we have the courage (not the same as pride or ego) to recognize the goodness in ourselves and be transformed by God's ultimate affirmation of us.

Library

Today's readings (see Log, below):

Moskowitz, Isa Chandra, and Romero, Terry Hope. Vegan Pie in the Sky. Cambridge, Mass.: Da Capo, 2011.

Stepaniak, Jo. The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook. Summertown, Tenn.: Book Publishing Co., 2003.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass in the classroom one more time. We have migrated now to the back chapel, where we will pray in common for the rest of the month, until the main chapel renovations are completed.

Evening prayer was in the back chapel, but I was not there. From the late morning until six in the evening, I spent most of the day baking and cooking for the evening meal. It was breakfast for dinner! A treat for the brothers and fun to prepare. I baked a tofu quiche, made without egg and milk, with spinach, onion, and mushrooms and a whole wheat pastry crust; vegan blueberry pancakes; home fries (which, though greasy and not so good for you, are vegan, too); and a blueberry buckle cake (also ... you guessed it). Along with a fruit salad and my cooking partner's baked French toast and bacon, and we had a great meal. Very few leftovers, which is what really tells the tale. Feeling satisfied at having put in a good and honest day's work, with energy left to spare. Now, to the treadmill, then joining the brothers for either a film (the next part of the movie about Pope John XXIII) or a puzzle. 

Weather

Bright as sun, blue as sky; temperate; looking and feeling fine.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Seeing the Star

Lectio Divina

They were overjoyed at seeing the star.

Matthew 2:10

For those who follow Jesus and perceive with the senses of faith, everything points to God, right? This means it really is true when Sly Stone sings "Everybody Is a Star." If only we could look at our sisters and brothers with love and rejoice that they, too, are signs of the immediate presence of God. Christ, heal my blindness.

Library

Finished the latest issue of Commonweal. Returning to Mumford (I know you've heard that before). Have a few more letters to write, but they will have to wait for another day when I have several hours to myself. 

Log

It is the memorial of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, wife, mother, teacher, and religious foundress. When I think of her, I pray for my sister, Jennifer, also a wife and mother and teacher. Through Elizabeth Ann Seton's intercession I pray that God's blessings of wisdom will fill my sister and that in the fulfillment of her vocations, she will come to know and love God who is present in her midst and dwells in her heart.

Morning prayer and Mass in our classroom again. We will worship in here through Saturday evening. Next week we will move to the back chapel behind the main chapel. Breakfasted this morning with the sound of drilling and jackhammering from the main chapel, where the brick baptismal font is being removed. I am assured that whatever the labor in the sanctuary from this point forward, it will not interfere with our hours of prayer in the adjacent back chapel, being in a much lower decibel range.

This afternoon, ministry at the federal prison in Lompoc. Later this afternoon, setting the dining room tables with five more place settings for my guests and friends from Beatitude House, the Catholic Worker community in Guadalupe, Calif. They are coming for evening prayer and the evening meal. I am glad to be returning the favor of their hospitality to us when we visited them in October, and gladder still to be introducing them to my novice brothers. Franciscans and Catholic Workers are personalists at heart and share in their depths a passion for living the Gospel in simplicity and humility and poverty. They can learn a lot from each other.

This evening, faith sharing in our small groups. A few moments of communal recreation, then adjourning to the kitchen for some late-night baking in advance preparation for my turn at cooking the evening meal Saturday. 

Weather

Chilly for sure. Endeavoring not to let the hearth in my heart go cold.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Interim Chapel

Lectio Divina

Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Colossians 3:17

Library

Finished Chesterton, Saint Francis of Assisi. Continuing with Mumford, The City in History. Now perusing the pages of the current issue of Commonweal.

Log

Morning prayer and Mass in our classroom, our interim chapel, now that our main chapel has been "decommissioned" and is awaiting renovation activities, which will take place all day Friday. More than one novice brother spoke of the intimacy of prayer and worship in a space that at first glance seemed uncongenial to such a quality of gathering. But in spite of the whitewashed brick walls and fluorescent lights and deadly acoustics, we have made of the space a sacred space. Very good periods of silent meditation this morning and evening, with unexpected consolation.

This morning and early afternoon, class sessions on poverty, postponed from earlier dates. We began with a cosmic perspective on poverty. Because we come from God who is gratuity itself, live in God by faith in Jesus Christ, and are returning to God; and because we are dependent on God for everything we are, we  Then we examined how Francis encountered the presence of God in his life through his experiences of poverty. Finally, we zeroed in on the Capuchin life of poverty and minority according to our Constitutions and recent plenary council documents. A good, frank, and promise-filled discussion.

Later this afternoon, a three-and-a-half mile jog; I felt good and felt strong at the end. This evening, viewing a documentary on the life of Blessed Pope John XXIII with a couple of my novice brothers.

Tomorrow, I'm hanging around the friary and intending to write those letters to everyone who wrote me during Advent and Christmas. Also going to think and pray about arising questions and decisions concerning post-novitiate formation.

Weather

Cool and sunny; a delight.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

First Day, Another Start

Lectio Divina

So shall they invoke my name ... and I will bless them.

Numbers 6:27

Library

Finishing Chesterton, Saint Francis of Assisi. Making progress with Mumford, The City in History.

And now, for your edification, here is January issue of The Caperone.

Log

It is the first day of 2013. A late start this morning, with morning prayer at eight-thirty, followed by Mass at nine o'clock for the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. The formator in charge of liturgy is away on vacation this week; the novice brother he left in charge of the music ministry has deputized me his cantor. Yesterday I led the singing of our Gospel canticles during the Liturgy of the Hours, and the Gloria at Mass. This morning I led the congregation in song during Mass, starting the Gloria; singing the responsorial psalm and the Gospel acclamation (the "Alleluia") during the liturgy of the Word; and guiding us through our sung responses in the liturgy of the Eucharist. This is a liturgical ministry I love.

Readers of The Caperone know that we are beginning renovations to our chapel to make it better suited for the worship needs of a novitiate fraternity. At the conclusion of Mass we emptied all the chapel stalls of our breviaries, Bibles, hymnals, devotionals, and other books of prayer and spiritual reading. As I type this, other brothers are taking down the Christmas decorations, moving the pews, and removing our San Damiano crucifix as contractors prepare to disassemble the brick font around our tabernacle. For the next few days we will worship in our classroom while the builders get busy and noisy. When the din has died down, we will relocate temporarily to the back chapel adjoining the main chapel for daily recitation of the Divine Office and Mass. We should be able to return to the main chapel by the end of the month.

This afternoon, exercise and catching up on correspondences. Thank you, friends, for the Christmas greetings that filled my mailbox. I will reply to each of you as soon as I can. This evening, after holy hour, a social, and the evening meal, a presentation on the 2012 General Chapter of the Capuchins by one of its attendees, our brother from the Province of St. Mary, Fr. Regis Armstrong.

A friar from New York sent me an e-mail greeting thanking me and the Province of St. Mary novices for being the example for him to imitate this year. It is with trepidation that I affirm that I, too, am an example to others of a life centered in God. But as Franciscans, we should be dare to be an example for others. "Learning to walk like Saint Francis of Assisi and daring to speak in God's name." Thank you, dear brother, for being the example I need to imitate.

Together, let us begin again today and every day this year to live the Gospel and obey the Gospel in thought, word, and deed. The way of the Gospel reveals Jesus, who reveals God. And Francis shows us how to live the Way.

Two hundred days until first vows ... good readers, pray for me, as I pray for you. May God's will be done in us; may God's will live in us. May our love of Jesus humanize us; may God's love sanctify us. 

Weather

Bright and beautiful. More than a brand new year, it is a brand new day.